Kabbalists teach us the path to the root so each of us would attain the root of his soul. They tell us that the most important thing is the intention. There is a force Above intended to correct us and lead us through all the phases to the final, exalted state. However, we have to precede the ascent with our own actions by anticipating it with our request or desire.

In the end we have to feel something that we are unable to currently perceive. We do not have anything to grab hold of, no opportunity to. This “something” appears insignificant and meaningless. Why is that? The reason is because the phenomenon we have to feel is bestowal and love for the neighbor. This is the force of the Creator, the quality called “the Creator” which envelops and fills all of reality.

We don’t understand it or feel it, and are unable to come closer to it. We were deliberately created opposite in order to see the Light from the darkness, and then to understand, feel, and manifest it.

The simple Light as such would blind us. Therefore, we exist and develop in the quality of reception, gradually acquiring more and more details of perception. Then comes a moment when we despair of reception and acquire an impetus toward the quality of bestowal. This spark that awakens inside us is called “the point in the heart.”

Then we are brought closer to realizing it. We are brought to an instructor, books, and environment. Now we can develop this spark into the real quality of bestowal and love for the neighbor. Our work lies in making all the possible actions that can help us increase our value of the instructor, the primary sources, and the environment. When we elevate them above our egoism, above the quality of reception, the quality of bestowal becomes more important to us and we start to feel greater respect for the Light than the darkness, or for the Creator than creation.

I read about this in the primary sources, and that means I have to make efforts to this end. However, when I come face to face with it, when I make a plan to begin respecting and raising bestowal over reception in my eyes, what I discover inside is futility and lack of all interest in the subject. I feel that I don’t care one bit about the instructor, the group, or the books. Everything loses flavor.

Why? It’s because my egoism, my desire for pleasure does not smell any profit here. On the contrary, from that moment on it feels that what lies ahead are losses.

How can I cause anything bad to myself if I am entirely the will to enjoy? I am simply incapable of this. The possibility of harming myself is not inherent in me.

So what should I do? It turns out that my advancement towards the Creator lies in constantly separating from what now appears as “goodness” to me. Moreover, it is coming closer to “evil.” Is that even possible?

The answer to this question can only be received from the science of Kabbalah.
From the 1st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 2/23/11, Writings of Rabash

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