Two questions I received on setting boundaries for children:

Question: When my son is bullied and hit by other kids in kindergarten, should he fight back? If I don’t let him, then the bullying will continue, plus he will lose self-confidence, become depressed, feel that injustice is being committed against him, and will hate the kids who abuse him. He will become dependent and learn to tattle-tale to his teacher and mother.

My Answer: Of course, the best thing, and the goal, is for the children to have friendly relationships with each other. But until that happens, he has to fight back! The two don’t contradict each other.

He has to fight back as an equal, but the kids should receive an explanation that it’s best to play nice. This explanation is the teacher’s job.

Question: You say that we shouldn’t punish children as if they were animals. On the other hand, I have heard you say that in certain cases it’s ok to give your kid a spank. What do you do in a situation when talking to my child, explaining things to him, doesn’t help? How firm should parents be? Where’s the boundary?

My Answer: That’s a very broad question! We have specialists on Kabbalistic education and you should write to them.

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